Mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law often share complex and multifaceted relationships that evolve over time. At first, the bond may be characterized by warmth and acceptance, as a mother welcomes her son’s husband with love and an open heart. The joy of seeing her son happy can overshadow any early fears. However, as time progresses and new family dynamics emerge, unforeseen challenges can arise that lead to moments of tension and conflict. Despite these difficulties, many relationships eventually find their way to closeness and mutual respect, even though that journey can be full of emotional ups and downs.
My own experience with my daughter-in-law epitomizes the complexity of such relationships. At first, she seemed like a nice girl who brought my son immense joy. Her happiness seemed to be most important and I welcomed her into our family with open arms. However, this initial warmth was soon overshadowed by a series of troubling events that strained our relationship.
My daughter-in-law struck me as a nice girl at first. All I cared about her was that she brought joy to my son.
One day when we were out we got hungry and asked her to bring us some food. We gave her our card information and she used an app on her phone to deliver the package.
Everything seemed fine until a few months later when we discovered some strange transactions in our account.
After we decided to investigate, we were horrified to see that our daughter-in-law had spent about $17,000 on designer clothes, jewelry, purses, and fancy dining. At first, she was reluctant to be confronted, but when prompted, she exercised her right to do so. It seems we were unaware of these costs for about four months. My daughter-in-law is a vegetarian who once tried being vegan, and my son has been married for three years.
Every time they came to visit, I made vegetarian meals to make sure he had enough to eat. Because they lived in a small apartment, we had never visited them before. But recently they got a house and invited them for dinner.
I called my daughter-in-law before the visit to let her know I was allergic to nuts.
Remarkably, she replied that she would never change the amount or type of nuts used in her dishes for me because she always uses them. She also advised me to pack my own food if necessary. I told her she could take my husband and me off the guest list if that was the case.
I spent a long time as a housewife. It started when the kids were young, but my husband and I continued to feel that there was no need to change anything even as the kids got older. My future daughter-in-law wasted no time in telling me that she didn’t think being a housewife was a true calling when we first met. After that, he couldn’t seem to stop commenting on my way of life.
She wondered how someone who didn’t work could be tired whenever he came to dinner. Even when I shared small joys with her like baking pies, she dismissed it as something I had time for because I was unemployed. I finally had enough and went to see her to see if she was jealous.
Her rude behavior was becoming unbearable for me, so I made it clear that she was not welcome in my house.
I could not accept her disrespect even though my son and she were hurt by what I said.
My son called me later that evening, excited to tell me that he and his fiancee were coming to see us. “Hey Mom, just a heads up, try to stay calm,” he continues before hanging up. I don’t usually keep my feelings to myself, but I didn’t quite understand the meaning of his caution. Everything makes sense when I open the door later.
My cub can be seen clumsily clinging to the girl’s arm, who has a protruding belly.
How do I have to proceed? I am trying to accept this new reality and look on the bright side, but my future daughter-in-law is not helping me.
You know what she said when I politely asked about their living situation and budget? “We expect your full support as we give you a grandson. Is it really true?
I couldn’t help but be concerned about the lavish spending patterns of my son’s girlfriend.
Whether it was an expensive YSL bag or designer sneakers, the 19-year-old waitress seemed to dress beyond measure. Nevertheless, our friendship remained friendly and I even offered to help them financially for their wedding.
But then things changed when we went wedding dress shopping together and she picked out a $10,000 dress. I politely asked them if their modest private ceremony required such elaborate attire. I disagreed with her statement, “I can afford it because I pay for it myself.” The mother’s declaration that her daughter was a princess only served to fan the flames.
I finally lost it and stood up to them, pointing out that my son’s fiancee was a waitress who didn’t even finish high school. When we had an argument, I told my son that I would not help him with the wedding expenses. I wanted to make sure they didn’t get married and drown in debt—especially since his fiancee insisted on splurging on a designer gown.
I didn’t feel like there was anything I could do to help in that situation.
I used to think highly of my son’s girlfriend because she is bright, driven, and a perfect fit for our family. Everything was going well until they decided to get married. Shortly after the gala dinner, she grabbed me by the side and told me how much she had always adored my emerald ring. She asks me to give it to her as a family treasure and wedding gift.
Remember we’ve already told the kids we’ll be giving them gifts totaling £6,000 (~$7.7k). I lost my temper and our furious argument ended. They are both mad at me now. My child supports her by pointing out that I own multiple rings.
Even at thirty-five, my friend’s son was a bit of a mummy’s boy, but in the end, he decided to marry a colleague and live separately. It is remarkable that he only raved about the beauty of his bride without introducing her to his mother. A perceptive friend, aware of her son’s low IQ, sensed that something was not quite right and decided to investigate further.
She managed to find the address of the beautiful girl’s hostel and went to meet her. There she got into a conversation with a neighbor who also had juicy things to say about the beauty. It turned out that her future daughter-in-law’s 12-year-old daughter was living with her sister instead.
Why? Because, in the words of the neighbor, “the sister can take care of the niece because she is childless anyway.” My acquaintance was shocked and asked about the father of the child. The neighbor’s response was quite telling: “Well, you know, she’s so beautiful, so beautiful…” she smirked. He still doesn’t know the identity of the father!
I was planning to introduce my girlfriend to my mother. We sat in the restaurant and made ourselves comfortable while we waited for them to arrive. My girlfriend calls me out of the blue. With a sniffle, she adds that she will be a little late because she misjudged the pedals and inadvertently parked the car near the hair salon. I calm her down and tell her to hold off on calling the owner.
My mother contacted me after I hung up to let me know she was also going to be late because someone had hit her car. When I asked about the place, I found out that it was next to the same hair salon.
“Go ahead, Mom, but when you get there, know that it’s not just some stranger, it’s your future daughter-in-law,” I tell my mother, trying not to smile.
We only saw them once or twice a year because we lived on the opposite side of the nation. Everything looked good when we crossed over; the kids were taken care of, the house was clean, etc. She was a joy to be with. However, life went back to “normal” for my son and my grandchildren once we left. She claimed she was heading to the store and then disappeared for two to four days. She didn’t clean up. When my child came home, everything was destroyed – the house, the car, everything. After putting the kids to bed, she went to a party. He took the children and left her. It’s better they never met.
As my son’s wedding day approached, I was choosing an elegant coral satin sheath dress with poise. But my daughter-in-law thought otherwise. She insisted I try on the hideous chiffon pantsuit she picked out, and now she’s insisting I wear it.
I wondered what the problem was with my clothes.
Were the left-exposed shoulders a problem? I offered to cover them with a scarf. But I was surprised by my daughter-in-law’s reaction.
She said I should wear more “age appropriate” because I look too good in dresses.
It can be difficult to find the right person and going on a first date can be quite an experience at times. 14 people revealed their unforgettable first date experiences that could easily be made into a suspenseful thriller or a funny movie.
Living far from our children and grandchildren often meant seeing only the surface of their lives. However, there were deeper issues such as my daughter-in-law’s neglect and irresponsibility that led to my son’s decision to leave her for the well-being of his children.
Finally, my choice of clothes for my son’s wedding caused another conflict. My daughter-in-law’s insistence on more “age-appropriate” clothing, despite my preference for elegant dresses, underscored her attempts to control and dictate personal choices.
In conclusion, the journey with my daughter-in-law has been a tumultuous one, marked by moments of joy, disappointment, and conflict. While some mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships eventually find a harmonious balance, others remain fraught with misunderstandings and unfulfilled expectations. Through it all, maintaining open communication, setting boundaries, and striving for mutual respect are essential to navigating these complex family relationships. Ultimately, the goal is to foster a sense of understanding and coexistence and ensure that family bonds remain strong despite the inevitable challenges.