In a world that is constantly evolving, the concepts of love, relationships, and marriage are also changing. Gone are the days when marriage was considered a mandatory milestone in an individual’s life. People today are increasingly recognizing the different paths that life can take, including the conscious choice to remain single. Perceptions of loneliness have changed dramatically over the past few decades as individuals now recognize the myriad reasons why one might opt out of marriage and opt for a single lifestyle. This choice is not only personal but also reflects broader societal changes that prioritize individual happiness and fulfillment over conforming to traditional norms.
Everyone has different expectations for the future when it comes to dating and relationships. Some people choose to stay single, some get married, and some spend a lot of time in a relationship but never plan to tie the knot. Some women refuse to get married for a variety of reasons, from wanting to focus on other things to simply not wanting to get married.
In fact, the percentage of American adults who do not live with a partner or partner increased from 39 percent in 2007 to 42 percent in 2017, according to the Pew Research Center. Additionally, according to 2017 statistics, 61% of under-35s do not have a spouse or partner, down from 56% a decade earlier. Therefore, singles are not quite alone – in fact, the trend seems to be gaining momentum.
Naturally, there is no right or wrong decision when it comes to marriage, as each individual must determine what is best for them.
Antonia Hall, psychologist, relationship specialist, and author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life, tells Bustle that “statistically, more and more people are choosing to stay single.” “For some, it’s a conscious choice not to repeat the negative experiences — their own and their parents’ failed relationships — that led to the decision.” She is going
further to say that not wanting children, not believing in “The One” and maintaining a sense of independence, freedom, and control over your life and finances are other reasons to be single.
“Overall, many people feel happy and content with their single status, so why change what works by complicating things,” argues Hall.
Different women have different motives for not wanting to get married.
Below, the women explain their reasons for not wanting to get married.
1 Liza, 28
“I grew up in a (normal) happy home, but a lot of my friends were from divorced homes. Naturally, I’ve seen a lot of friends cheat or be unfaithful over time, so I don’t think there’s any point in staying with someone forever, even under those circumstances.
However, for those who choose to celebrate it, I totally embrace the concept of marriage; it just seems like a headline and a joke to me.
I was very close to getting married a few years ago, but the thought of getting engaged really worried me. I’m glad it didn’t happen now because I would have felt guilty about getting married even though it wasn’t my dream. Nor will I marry because of the expenses, clothing, location, food, drink, and rings involved; it all seems too frivolous to be a “commitment of love.”
Leslie, 39
“I’ve been seeing my fiance for ten years and I don’t want to get married. Really, I’m engaged, I wanted to see what it was like. It’s a completely different feeling than having a significant other.” boyfriend or girlfriend I really enjoyed the increased feeling of love and commitment and now I have all the degrees I need. Simply put, I don’t want to get married, plus I don’t feel comfortable throwing an expensive or lavish party in my honor because I know I wouldn’t be able to handle the stress of organizing the “perfect day”. “Hall or run, but then again, marriage won’t improve our relationship, as cliché as it sounds, I just want to be happy.”
3 Kelly, 56 years old
“I’ve been traveling full-time for the past nine years. I also house-sit, which is living in someone else’s house for free and babysitting their pets while they’re on vacation (I even published a book about it!” ). I’m living a fantastic lifestyle at the moment, but it would be really challenging if I were married, I’ve never been married and I’m still not going to stop traveling the world alone.”
30 Nina, 4
People are usually rather surprised to hear that I am a Christian of Nigerian descent when I tell them that I am not planning to get married. Because marriage and motherhood are considered the highest forms of femininity in both of these deeply patriarchal cultures, a woman’s worth is often determined by her relationship with men. This tendency may overshadow any other notable achievements she may have had in the past or even in the future. Because of these religious, cultural, and social constructs, I grew up seeing many female role models give up on their aspirations, stay in abusive marriages, or operate from a place of low self-esteem.
This is why very early in life, marriage (or the idea that my worth, purpose, or happiness should be tied to a man) represented closure, limitation, and loss of identity. According to Jessica Knoll, best-selling author of Happiest Child Alive, “My fairy tale ending involved a pantsuit, not a wedding dress, ever since I was a little girl.” To be successful is to do well enough to eventually gain freedom.”
5 Fox, 31
“My girlfriend and I don’t want to get married, even though we can (finally!) get married. We both think we don’t need a piece of paper telling us we’re engaged. Plus, the money we’d spend on the reception we’d like to use on whatever another.”
Christine, six years old
“If we were to marry, I would have to take on my partner’s debt. Not at all, thanks. We should keep our money completely separate, please.”
33, 7 Angela
“I don’t want to get married. Growing up as an only child, I never really felt the need or desire for a husband. Although I’ve had relationships that fit your favorite romance story, and I’ve had sorrows that Adele could prove.” .” I’ve never sung, I’m always happiest when I’m alone. Although I know many nomadic couples, I’m also a digital nomad and I honestly believe that having a partner would only hinder my journey.”
8 Kaley, 31
“My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for nine years this year. In the background, we were separated by distance for almost four years, starting when I met him as a freshman in college and he lived in another city. I don’t want kids and they’re not religious, so this was my first and last serious friend. Buying a house this year felt like our interpretation of marriage or marriage. It seems like a bigger success than marriage can ever be.
Contrary to popular belief by those who don’t know us, he is not “leg-dragging” or showing a lack of determination, which is not why we are in this predicament. More precisely, I “led the charge” in rejecting the idea of marriage. I think one of the reasons he and I don’t feel pressured or want to get married is because of the confidence and independence I’ve gained from being in a long-distance relationship. We understand each other deeply and trust each other completely, so I’m not afraid that getting married will take us to a new level of intimacy or closeness. I wouldn’t feel “safer” or “cared for” in any way if I married him.
28 Stefania, 9
“My girlfriend and I have been together for over four years. Not only is the custom of marriage extremely archaic, but it’s full of isms. By asking a woman’s parents for permission before approaching her, a man is effectively curing Pak.” by ‘buying’ her off by promising her an expensive gift (a ring) in exchange for her lifelong fidelity and surname married and I am fine with celebrating love but I have not chosen to follow or support the institution of marriage because it is for me the opposite of romance.”
10 Shanyn, 31 years old
“In 2013 when I was engaged I called off my engagement to a strict dishonest person. I am currently seeing the man for the rest of my life and we are in a great relationship but I don’t want to get married. We are.” “We’ve been dating for almost three years and everyone always wants to know when we’re getting married. I recently bought my first house—it’s mine!—and I have a reputation that includes titles from my previous name, which it doesn’t! I want to change now, I am over thirty, and I am very satisfied emotionally, spiritually, and otherwise – we keep our finances separate.
Financially, marriage would not improve our situation, and I have found no evidence to support benefits other than emotional. I don’t want to change what works as long as we’re both happy.”
Lisa, forty-one years old
When I was younger, I wasn’t someone who really wanted to get married; rather, it was more about whether a perfect person had just happened to appear. I became less and less interested in marriage as my 20s gave way to my 30s. Even if I found my soulmate or the love of my life now in my 40s, I wouldn’t get married for the following reasons: 1) Money: The biggest worry about marriage is money. I own property and have property; I don’t want to risk losing my hard-earned money. I control what I do with my money because it belongs to me. 2) Lifestyle and values: I put a lot of effort into my work. I often worked more than 60 hours at my job. Can someone who puts in as much work as I do get along with my husband? I also try very hard to live by the principles of my religion in everything I do, not just on Sundays, and I take my religious beliefs extremely seriously. I go to church services every Sunday. 3) Children: You cannot compromise when it comes to children. I don’t want children. 4) Infidelity: I know the occasional transgression happens, but what if it wasn’t a one-time event? What would happen if it took several months or maybe years? What if the affair resulted in the birth of a child? How can you solve such a problem?
There really are people who are extremely happy in their relationships and I hope they always have the happiest life possible. But marriage is about sharing your time, your finances, and most of all, your own self—it’s about loving someone more than anything else. Even though being single can be isolating at times, I am responsible for solving all the problems I have. I don’t have a husband or kids so I don’t have to worry about him stealing us or how I will raise him. I’m the only one doing it.”
You may relate to some of the reasons below, as you can see there are a number of reasons why some ladies would rather stay single. Whatever the situation, you’re the only one who knows your motivations, so it’s important to put them first.
The different reasons why women choose to remain single reflect a wide range of personal values, experiences, and life goals. As societal norms evolve, traditional notions of marriage are increasingly viewed through a critical lens that allows individuals to prioritize what truly brings them happiness and fulfillment. From Lisa’s skepticism about the permanence and practicality of marriage to Kelly’s dedication to a life of travel and independence, each woman’s story underscores a fundamental truth: there is no one-size-fits-all approach to relationships and life choices.
The growing number of adults, especially younger generations, choosing to remain single or forego marriage highlights a significant cultural shift. This trend is not only about rejecting traditional norms but about embracing autonomy and individual preferences. Whether it’s a desire for financial independence, the pursuit of personal passions, or an aversion to the constraints of conventional marital roles, these motivations are valid and deeply personal.
Antonia Hall’s insights remind us that happiness and fulfillment do not inherently flow from marital status. Many find satisfaction in their single life, appreciating the freedom to make decisions unencumbered by societal expectations. The experiences shared by women like Leslie and Shanyn illustrate that deep, committed relationships can flourish without the formalities of marriage, offering fulfillment and stability on their own terms.
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Ultimately, the decision to marry or remain single is deeply individual. It is shaped by one’s own experiences, values , and aspirations. Respecting these choices is essential because it allows people to live authentically and align their lives with what really matters to them. As these women’s stories show, the path to happiness is uniquely personal, and honoring your own path is most important.
Together, these stories illustrate that the decision to marry or remain single is highly individual and influenced by a complex interplay of personal values, experiences, and aspirations. As societal norms are constantly evolving, it is critical to honor and respect these diverse choices and understand that there is no one-size-fits-all formula for happiness and fulfillment. Each person must navigate their own path and make decisions that are consistent with their unique circumstances and desires.
In conclusion, whether one chooses to marry or remain single, the key is to prioritize personal well-being and happiness. The diverse motivations for staying single underscore the broader acceptance of different life paths. Embracing this diversity allows for a richer and more inclusive understanding of what it means to lead a fulfilling life. Each person must follow their own path, make decisions that best suit their individual circumstances and desires, and ensure that their lives are lived with meaning and joy.