For a relationship to succeed and lead to a long-term marriage, compatibility, patience, and compromise are necessary. Unfortunately, most marriages break down and end in divorce. These are the seven most common causes of divorce or other marital problems.
1. Divorce is caused by conflict and avoidance
One of the most important aspects of a relationship is creating an atmosphere where both partners feel comfortable expressing their needs, wants, and feelings.
On the other hand, it’s typical for people to take every precaution to avoid confrontation, including having difficult conversations with each other about their relationships. According to Connie Omari, Ph.D., “Avoiding conflict is a silent relationship killer because it prevents the opportunity to resolve conflict.” Rather, couples suppress their emotions until they become angry. “Not learning these skills is a surefire way to quietly kill your relationship,” she says.
2. Emotions need validation
High divorce rates can also result from a couple’s inability to appreciate or acknowledge their partner’s feelings. According to Dr. Omari, you could be unintentionally insulting or ignoring your partner by saying something as basic as “it’s not cold” when expressing a feeling of coldness.
“When a person feels devalued, they often feel disconnected and unheard,” she says.
“These two qualities combined will definitely work to quickly deteriorate the relationship.”
3. Adultery causes divorce
It should go without saying that an abnormally high percentage of Americans have admitted to cheating. It is interesting to note that there are many reasons why they might break up. This includes feelings of invalidity, unloved or unheard, but it can also be caused by despair or low self-esteem.
4. Sensing underrated
Feeling devalued or disrespected by one or both partners is another major factor contributing to divorce.
This can happen in a number of ways, the most notable of which is when one’s achievements draw criticism rather than congratulations or praise. For example, your partner may have forgotten it was their turn to take out the trash because they were busy with a work project. One might be tempted to point out their mistake rather than offering them congratulations on finishing the job ahead of time and expressing empathy for their struggle. But in such situations, there are regular opportunities to let your partner or spouse know how much you appreciate their work.
5. Ambiguity about liability
Another factor contributing to the unexpectedly high divorce rate is unclear expectations about domestic responsibilities. It’s important that both partners contribute equally to the relationship and the household, but it’s also important that they communicate honestly about their expectations and decide how errands and other chores will be shared or divided. When a couple doesn’t get along or one doesn’t put in the appropriate amount of work, the other person may get upset and think they’re putting in more effort than their spouse.
6. Marrying too young
While many people are lucky enough to fall in love when they are young, very few end up married for life. Conversely, many end up divorcing because neither party had a clear idea of their own goals in life when they were young.
People develop over time and are too young to know who they are as individuals. Couples often drift apart as a result.
7. Divorce is caused by different perspectives
Humans go through significant changes between adolescence and adulthood, as previously suggested. they often continue to develop into their 30s.
Moreover, it could lead to shifts in political or religious beliefs. To ensure that both parties are moving in the same direction and to strengthen the relationship, it is essential to have comparable beliefs, goals, or points of view.
Eliminating the chance of divorce
Divorce may be the best option in some situations, but there are some factors that need to be considered first. It is recommended that couples attempt a “trial separation” before finalizing a divorce. As a result, each will have a greater insight into life without the other.
This has a history of frequently bringing couples together. Furthermore, show each other compassion, love, and respect while emphasizing all the positive aspects of each other’s lives. Finally, love alone cannot guarantee a happy marriage. Patience, compromises, and compatibility are also necessary for a good and long-term relationship. It is very important to have difficult conversations and talk about important issues such as whether or not you want children at all and how to raise them. or the things that each person and their relationship value most in life.
In conclusion, maintaining a successful and lasting marriage requires more than mutual love; it requires a deep commitment to communication, empathy, and shared goals. Seven common causes of divorce—conflict avoidance, lack of emotional validation, infidelity, feelings of unappreciation, unclear responsibilities, early marriage, and different life perspectives—underscore the importance of proactively addressing these issues. Conflict avoidance can stifle resolution, leading to resentment, while emotional devaluation disrupts the connection between partners. Infidelity often stems from deeper emotional voids, whether it stems from neglect or low self-esteem, further complicating the structure of the relationship.
Additionally, feeling unappreciated can be subtle but destructive, so it’s crucial for partners to recognize and celebrate each other’s successes. Clear communication about household responsibilities and expectations is essential to avoid misunderstandings and resentment. Marrying too young can lead to separation as individuals grow and change while differing beliefs and values can create significant rifts over time.
Before deciding to divorce, couples are advised to consider a trial separation. This period can provide clarity and a better understanding of life without each other, often bringing couples closer together. During this time, fostering compassion, and respect, and mutually emphasizing each other’s positive qualities can strengthen the bond. Ultimately, a fulfilling marriage is built on patience, compromise, and mutual understanding. Engaging in open and honest conversations about fundamental issues such as family planning, life goals, and values is essential to cultivating a strong and lasting relationship. By prioritizing these aspects, couples can strengthen their connection and build a resilient, loving partnership.