After canceling the Thanksgiving meal her family had hosted for the previous 20 years, a woman posted about it on Reddit. Her brother’s wedding was behind her difficult decision.
Some of her family disagreed with her decision to withdraw the meal, while others agreed. She shared her experience on Reddit to get feedback from random users. A 40-year-old woman invited her mother, sister, and children, along with their husbands, to her home for Thanksgiving dinner. She canceled the event after receiving a message from her brother’s wife in response to his invitation.
What happened to cause the cancellation
The original poster (OP) described how she first met Julia, her brother’s wife, five years ago. Since then, a poster on Reddit explained that her sister-in-law keeps causing trouble during the annual Thanksgiving holiday.
“Julie is very into fad diets (Atkins, keto, South Beach), and every year she sends me a list of foods she can’t eat and a list of things she can.
Julie submitted OP’s party list the year before, and OP prepared her sister-in-law’s special meals based on her new diet. She tried her best, but the annual family meal was still spoiled.
The OP detailed what happened that year, describing how Julie lost her cool at the dinner table when her husband refused to eat the foods she was eating for her ketogenic diet. A poster on Reddit described how Thanksgiving dinner was ruined by their fight at the table.
Julie told the OP that she was on a special diet because she was trying to have a baby through in vitro fertilization (IVF) when the OP invited her family over for the Thanksgiving she was preparing this year.
The OP, furious, texted Julia to let her know he could only make one meal that year and couldn’t meet her request. After telling her what she told her, the OP said:
“I texted her back and told her I’m doing one meal and one meal only this year and she can either eat what’s served or bring her own food.”
Julie was irritated after reading the OP’s post and responded that her husband’s sister was being selfish by ignoring her request. She also complained about the OP to her husband that evening.
OP’s brother scolded her over the phone for spoiling the Thanksgiving meal the next day. He also recalled the occasion when Julie complied with her dietary restrictions during a barbeque party earlier that year.
The OP defended Julia by saying that her diet was a personal decision that she changed every year and that her food allergies posed a serious risk to her health. She informed him that the two items could not be compared. When OP’s brother then called their mother, she informed him that Julie’s dietary requirements were difficult for the whole family to meet and that Julie should bring diet food to family dinners.
OP’s husband advised her to cancel the dinner after talking to her about the situation and she accepted his suggestion. She announced to everyone that there would be no Thanksgiving and said:
“This is my menu for Thanksgiving. They are welcome to join us for dinner if they would like to do so.”
After reading the OP’s post, her mom thought she shouldn’t have canceled the meal, but her sister, husband, and son agreed with her choice. She shared her experience on Reddit in an attempt to get advice from others.
The responses Reddit users had to the OP’s story
Many Redditors recounted their personal experiences with dietary preferences and chastised Julia for her actions, saying that it is not necessary to accommodate such requests. Someone talked about switching to a vegan diet and having trouble with their vegan co-workers preparing non-vegan meals for their families.
Most people thought that Julie was being unreasonable and that the original poster was right when he refused to change Thanksgiving dinner for her.
In conclusion, the situation described highlights the complexities that can arise when family traditions intersect with personal dietary preferences and health-related concerns. OP’s decision to cancel Thanksgiving dinner was met with mixed reactions, highlighting the different perspectives families have on accommodating individual needs. While some family members supported her stance, others, including her mother, disagreed with her choice, showing the deep-seated tensions that can exist around such issues.
Reddit users largely sided with the OP, finding Julia’s demands unreasonable and unnecessary. The many shared personal anecdotes where similar dietary restrictions created friction reinforced the feeling that family gatherings should not be dominated by individual dietary fads, especially when they interfere with the shared experience. The consensus seemed to be that Julia’s request to modify the entire menu for her dietary needs was excessive and unreasonable.
In the end, the OP’s decision, while controversial to some, was seen as a reasonable response to ensure that the Thanksgiving celebration remains enjoyable for everyone. The case serves as a reminder of the importance of clear communication, mutual respect, and the need to balance individual needs with the collective spirit of family gatherings. Whether the family can find a compromise or agree on a way to accommodate everyone’s needs without derailing the celebration remains to be seen, but the Reddit discussion clearly reflects the challenges many face in navigating such delicate family dynamics.