The widowed father’s decision to prioritize the well-being of his family by calling off his marriage to Amanda was undoubtedly the right choice. An insensitive remark Amanda made about his late wife during a family dinner deeply upset him and his children and revealed major problems in their relationship. Despite the pain of ending the engagement, the father demonstrated his commitment to the emotional well-being of his children and created a safe environment for them by taking decisive action.
During the relationship, Amanda’s behavior raised concerns for both the father and his children. Her insensitive remarks about her late wife and her apparent attempts to drive a wedge between the father and his children highlighted fundamental differences in values and priorities. His father’s realization of the gravity of the situation made him reassess his relationship with Amanda and put the needs of his family first.
After the death of his beloved wife, a widowed father found love again with his fiancée. However, during a family dinner, she made a joke about his late wife that deeply upset him and his children. This incident made him decide about their future together.
An anonymous male poster shared his story on the “AITAH” subreddit on October 13, 2023. He gave some background information about his life, starting with the fact that he was the father of two children with his late wife Kayla: Sam, who is 21, and Liz, who is 16. The 43-year-old man lost his wife when their children were 10 and 15 years old.
Kayla was driving home from work when she had a drunk driving accident.
The family was deeply affected by her passing, and the widowed father decided to put the well-being of his children before his own date for a while.
A man met Amanda, a lady he knew, three years after his wife died. He waited a year before introducing her to his children, and their relationship developed cautiously. At the time, he had been seeing Amanda for three years and they were engaged.
After that evening, Liz said nothing and refused to speak to her father or Amanda.
Amanda first expressed uncertainty about the man’s history with his late wife, prompting hypothetical questions, but he responded by emphasizing the value of their current connection before thinking about the “what ifs.” Amanda eventually stopped saying such things and the man’s initial concerns about the circumstance subsided.
Everything seemed fine for the couple until the man’s parents invited them over for dinner to celebrate their engagement. The man’s parents were there, Sam, Liz, the late wife’s sister and her husband, and of course he and Amanda.
The dinner initially had a cozy and pleasant atmosphere. The conversation went well, touching on both cheerful topics and the upcoming wedding of the engaged couple.
But the pleasant atmosphere was disrupted when the man’s mother said something seemingly innocuous about how he might feel the same kind of connection with Amanda as he did with his late wife Kayla.
Although this remark could have gone undetected, Amanda’s response changed the course of events. “I’m glad she died or I never would have gotten him,” she said with a surprised laugh. An uncomfortable silence suddenly filled the room.
Everyone was noticeably tense, the children the most.
Amanda seemed to realize the implications of her remarks and tried to diffuse the tension by appearing to laugh uncontrollably. The man was unable to answer as Amanda’s statement caught him by surprise and seriously upset him.
His kids, especially Liz, looked disgusted, so she got up from the table and walked to the car. Sam paused, waiting for his father to respond, but the man was still processing the shock of Amanda’s words and remained speechless.
After a terrible dinner, the widower bid farewell to the family and escorted Amanda out of the stressful situation. The weight of the evening hung heavy in the air as the car pulled away. The distance between the father, his daughter Liz, and Amanda deepened over the next few days. Liz said nothing. She hadn’t spoken to her father or Amanda since that evening.
Sensing the strain on his family, the father asked his son Sam for advice. During their conversation, Sam said something that was similar to what his sister had said: he didn’t want anyone in their lives to be able to speak so poorly of their late mother. The man found great resonance in Sam’s statements, causing doubts to sprout about his relationship with Amanda.
The man was faced with a difficult choice as he tried to balance his love for Amanda with his duty to his children. He wondered what Amanda’s comments might mean for his family in the future, especially his daughter Liz. Driven by a desire to make things right for his children, he considered calling off the wedding, fearing that ignoring the tragedy could set a disturbing precedent.
In this highly sensitive situation, the father sought advice from others, believing that outside perspectives would help him make better decisions. He was left with a moral conundrum: Would it be wrong for him to decide to call off his engagement to Amanda because of a harsh remark she made about putting her family’s well-being first?
The father recounted how he waited for Amanda to go to work before frantically calling his son to come in the first update of his first post.
Sam, the college student next door, went into the living room with his sister and they had a serious talk. Dad made it clear to them that Amanda’s wedding was off and emphasized how
her comment was inappropriate. In addition, he expressed regret for not addressing the matter sooner and apologized to his children.
During the chat, the man’s daughter expressed her disdain for Amanda’s remark, saying she thought Amanda was gradually trying to drive her and her brother away. She mentioned the times Amanda urged her brother to move out so he could attend college. She also recalled Amanda pushing her against her wish to attend an out-of-state institution.
Both children said they thought Amanda was trying to put some distance between them and their father.
Realizing the seriousness of the situation, the father acknowledged his children’s concerns and expressed his regret for not finding out sooner. He told them that they would always have his undivided attention and that they were his first concern. During an emotionally charged exchange, they had an open discussion about their fears and anxieties for about two hours.
Finally, the father made a firm decision to break up with Amanda. He made sure to explain to his children that Amanda was solely responsible for her behavior and that none of it was their responsibility. He was satisfied that his children weren’t fully back on his side yet, as he put their comfort and well-being above all else.
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He intended to talk to Amanda and confront his mother about the reason she needed to bring Kayla up during the meal. In an effort to keep his home a safe and nurturing place for his children, the father invited his daughter to stay with his brother while he worked out his differences with Amanda.
After dinner, the OP made a quick decision. When he contacted his mother to talk about it, he found that she was ashamed of what she had said about Kayla.
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Armed with instructions from the virtual notes, he documented his interaction with Amanda and questioned her about her cruel words and deceitful actions toward his children.
Unfortunately, the exchange with Amanda did not go smoothly. He was honest about his feelings, but Amanda didn’t seem to care until he told her they were done. She surprisingly admitted that she is upset that she has to raise someone else’s children for the rest of her life – the children of Sam and Liz’s husband’s late wife, Kayla.
The man was so offended and saddened by Amanda’s callous remark that he was even more determined to ask her to leave. After Amanda, full of grief and tears, left to stay with her boyfriend, the man made it clear that she was not to return.
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Despite his grief, the widowed father put his children first. He promised them a warm welcome back home, with permission for his son to return if he wished. He chose to put his family first despite his lingering affection for Amanda. He appreciated the internet support and decided to move on, step by step to mend his relationship with his children to bring his family back together.
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Do you believe the father made the right decision to call off his marriage to Amanda and put his family first? Check out another story here about how a widower’s girlfriend made fun of his daughter’s suggestive look and how he couldn’t ignore it.
Father’s decision to call off his marriage to Amanda and prioritize the well-being of his family was undoubtedly the right choice. Amanda’s insensitive remark about his late wife during a family dinner deeply hurt both him and his children and revealed major problems in their relationship. By taking steps to resolve the situation and ending his engagement with Amanda, the father demonstrated his commitment to the emotional well-being of his children and created a safe and nurturing environment for them. Despite the pain of ending the relationship, he remained steadfast in his decision to put family above all else. With the support of online communities and a determination to repair his relationship with his children, the father embarked on a journey of healing and reconciliation, ensuring that his family remained his top priority.