In a world where childhood obesity and eating disorders are becoming more prevalent, the way we talk to children about food can have significant consequences. This point was illustrated vividly by Caroline, a mother and business owner who found herself at the center of a viral discussion on social media after voicing concerns about how her daughter’s teacher was influencing her eating habits at school.
Caroline’s story begins when her three-year-old daughter, Evelyn, comes home with a confusing message from her teacher about categorizing foods as “good” or “bad” and the order in which they should be eaten. Concerned about the potential negative impact such messages could have on her young child’s perception of food and self-regulation, Caroline felt compelled to act. She chose to communicate her view directly through a note placed in her daughter’s box, effectively setting the stage for a wider discussion about child support and parental rights.
After complaining to her daughter’s teacher about something the instructor said at school, the mother decided to put a handwritten note in her daughter’s lunchbox.
Caroline, the owner of Pezzi, a company that provides tableware for young children, posted on her TikTok account that her three-year-old daughter Evelyn came home one afternoon and told her teacher that she had to eat her lunch in a special order, starting with the “good” foods and ends with the “bad” ones.
Her sandwich and pickle were considered “good” items, but her brownie was considered “bad.”
After the teacher gave her instructions on how to consume the food, the frustrated mother put a handwritten note in her toddler’s lunchbox.
Caroline wrote, “[At] this point I was feeling a little frustrated with the teacher’s outdated instructions,” as the caption of her TikTok video describing the circumstances.
“I’m three years old, at three she was told that certain foods are good or bad.
“I’m so proud that she felt something was wrong – to know it wasn’t right enough to tell me about it.”
Caroline responded by writing, “Hi!” on her toddler’s lunchbox and left it for her teacher to see. We give Evelyn carte blanche to eat her lunch however she wants. Her dishes are just food – none of them are “good” or “bad”! Thank you, Joey and Caroline.”
Evelyn, Caroline’s three-year-old daughter, was instructed to start with her “good” foods—a sandwich and pickle—and end with her “bad” foods—a cookie. Caroline wrote about it.
More than 55,000 people saw the message, with many applauding the mother for defending her child and criticizing the teacher for her “controlling” instructions.
“You are absolutely correct in your answer as a teacher. One user said: “The story of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ food can actually encourage the development of harmful eating habits.
That’s really too overbearing. No one should instruct others in the proper order to eat their food. This is their dinner to enjoy,” another person said.
Another person commented, “As a former teacher, I thought parents packed their child’s lunch with the intention that they would eat it; in any order or quantity.”
“At this point, I was feeling a little frustrated with the outdated instructions from the teacher,” Caroline said.
Another commenter recounted her experience: “I don’t care what portion of my daughter’s lunch she eats first as long as she’s full enough to concentrate.” Usually, it’s just fruit and turkey treats, but she could start with Oreos if she really wanted to.’
Others, however, expressed their disapproval of Caroline’s strategy, writing: “Maybe you could have talked to the teacher instead of leaving a passive-aggressive note in your three-year-old’s lunch… I’m sure the teacher wasn’t trying to be cruel.”
In response, the mother-of-four said: “I don’t think she was trying to be mean! I didn’t believe the message was passive-aggressive and I can’t meet the lunch teacher.”
Watch the mother’s video here.
In addition, the entrepreneur said that after learning about “great” information from other mothers and youth and nutrition professionals, she is now “armed with better responses, knowledge and practices” for her children.
“We often discuss this at home… You can’t expect your body to develop strong muscles if all you eat is broccoli or carrots. Your body won’t have the energy to play and move all day if you only eat chicken, ” said the author.
“We need a little bit of everything to make sure we’re able to learn and play and grow throughout the day.”
The Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health recommends packing a nutritious lunchbox by filling your child’s plate (or lunchbox) half with colorful fruits or vegetables (try to have two or three different kinds), one-quarter with whole grains, and one-quarter with healthy proteins.
According to the School of Public Health, a good meal that supports an active and healthy lifestyle is supplemented with healthy fats and a small amount of dairy products, if desired.
Various reactions to Caroline’s strategy were seen on social media.
The incident involving Caroline, her daughter Evelyn, and a teacher’s dietary guidelines brings to light an important debate about the framing of food as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ in educational settings. Caroline’s decision to address the matter via a note in her daughter’s lunch box has sparked a viral debate highlighting different perspectives on how food should be presented to children.
On one side of the debate, proponents of Caroline’s approach praise her for championing her child’s autonomy over her own food and challenging outdated beliefs that could potentially promote unhealthy relationships with food. The overwhelming response on social media in favor of Caroline underscores the wider push to empower young children to make choices and understand food in a balanced, non-judgmental way. This view is consistent with modern nutrition counseling, which emphasizes variety and balance rather than categorizing foods in a binary fashion.
Conversely, some critics argue that Caroline’s approach could have been more constructive if she had engaged directly with the teacher to address her concerns. This side of the argument suggests that dialogue may have been more effective in promoting understanding and cooperation between parent and teacher than leaving a note that some perceived as passive-aggressive. This perspective emphasizes the importance of collaboration and direct communication in the educational environment to ensure that parents’ interests and educational goals are aligned and addressed respectfully.
The discussion also touches on broader topics in parenting and education about how best to integrate lessons about health, autonomy, and responsibility. It asks questions about the role of educators in influencing children’s eating habits and how best to balance guidance with freedom, especially in the formative years.
Ultimately, the incident serves as a catalyst for much-needed dialogue about how food is discussed in schools and at home. It also reflects a societal shift towards more considerate and inclusive approaches to diet education, emphasizing that food should be a source of nourishment and pleasure, not a moral dilemma. Caroline’s proactive attitude, regardless of differing opinions on her method, highlights the passionate involvement of parents in advocating for the health and autonomy of their children, a fundamental aspect of parenting today.