In the whirlwind of wedding preparations and celebrations, tensions can sometimes arise, especially when expectations collide with personal relationships. For me, being deeply involved in my best friend Amber’s wedding was both an honor and a test of friendship, especially as her big day approached and family dynamics came into play more prominently.
Amber has been more than just a friend to me over the years; she was a savior in my most difficult times. As her bridesmaid, I was thrilled to be by her side, but I also unwittingly found myself at the epicenter of family criticism that questioned not only my role in the wedding but my self-esteem.
I’ve always been really close to Amber. She’s been my closest friend for decades and has always supported me when I needed it, but lately, I’ve been feeling a little off about her unwavering support. In September of last year, she defended me once again, but this time it cost her dearly.
Have you ever had a friend who would never back down from an argument? That friend, in my opinion, is Amber. We’ve been incredibly close since we met in kindergarten. Since our birthdays are a week apart, we celebrated together even in college and always had a party together when we were younger.
We set aside Sundays to catch up because we were worried that as we got older and got jobs we might start drifting apart. We hung out somewhere, chatted about our love interests, and just generally enjoyed each other’s company and vented our weeks.
After a while, Amber’s boyfriend showed signs of seriousness and proposed. I was ecstatic about her and helped him with all the planning.
Amber never put off planning her wedding so soon everything was planned and everyone was looking forward to the big day. Amber and Donovan probably pulled me into the wedding preparations so I wouldn’t get the impression they were walking away from me if they were serious about it. I also had fun assisting my best friend in organizing the perfect wedding.
We had everything ready quickly. Everything was ready for the big day, including the completion of the wedding ceremony. Amber was able to prepare without worrying about anything going wrong as we spent the last few weeks before the wedding going over every detail carefully to make sure we didn’t miss a thing.
Besides, she asked me to be her maid of honor and of course, I said yes.
Amber and I got dressed the morning of the rehearsal dinner. After a leisurely shower, I helped the joyful bride-to-be into her dress. Along with one or two family members, Amber’s acquaintances from work and college, and the other bridesmaids, were there. My dearest friend’s happiness made me glow with pride, but then I overheard some of her relatives conversing.
After using the restroom, I headed back to the area where the other women were putting on their costumes and doing their makeup when I noticed Amber, her aunt, and two of her cousins gathered in a corner. I wanted to walk past without them noticing because I didn’t want to bother them, but then I heard my name called. Curious, but feeling like I was snooping, I stopped and listened.
Her aunt said, “Amber, I’ll say it firmly but lovingly.” “You’re not the one for Lily. With someone like her by your side, just imagine how amazing the wedding photos will be. You don’t want to regret choosing the maid of honor 10 years later.”
Now keep in mind that Amber is an incredibly attractive woman. So ten out of ten. Conversely, it would be easy to see me as her opposite. I can barely control my wild and frizzy hair, I’m in pain, I’m slightly overweight, and I usually don’t get as much attention as Amber. However, there was never a problem with that. Amber is really important to me because she has always been there to help me feel attractive. Fortunately, my closest friend stood up for me once again.
“Look, Lily has earned the position of my maid of honor, regardless of what any of you believe.
She has supported me through some of the darkest moments of my life and will stop at nothing to ensure my happiness. She did more of this wedding than all of you put together, for crying out loud. She won’t leave.”
It seemed like it was over after that. Smiling, I headed back to the makeup station to finish it off. I had other things to take care of before Amber and Don could exchange their vows, but I was even more determined not to let my best friend down.
Still, my aunt and cousin didn’t seem to be done with their plan to force me to leave the wedding, even though she interceded for me. The “Three Thorns” as I now call them took the opportunity to throw a few more punches at them as we all lined up in the dressing room getting ready to start the ceremony itself.
“Hi OP, I have a friend with really good Spanx that will make you look a lot skinnier under the dress if you want her number,” Aunty said with a smile.
One relative decided to jump in and said, “And I could probably help you get rid of that rat’s nest on your head before the wedding.”
However, this will most likely not be enough to cover your skin. Maybe you should look into it.”
It was one of my most embarrassing experiences ever. I felt like I was back in high school and the bullies had picked the perfect opportunity to make fun of me. But I wouldn’t stand for their mistreatment. I directly instructed them to shut up. Also, I don’t think they expected a real answer from me.
“A bunch of conceited mean high school girls with a grudge to settle down? I heard you tell Amber I’m going to get kicked out of the wedding. I’m aware you’re acting petty to undermine my confidence. You shouldn’t be acting like that at your age .”
Amber appeared behind me and got out, looking angry. You’ll understand what I mean if you’ve ever witnessed a nervous bride lash out at her relatives during her rehearsal dinner.
After a good ten minutes of swearing, Amber finally told them to go. We were ready for the wedding and the rest of the day went smoothly. Everyone gathered the next morning for the big day. That is, with the exception of the three spiny ones. They just chose not to show up; they never shared the message or anything else. Despite her obvious concern, we all warmly celebrated the union of Amber and Don.
However, the aunt took to Facebook the next day and called Amber a “bridezilla,” and several other relatives joined her side. Amber has now decided to temporarily cut ties with several members of her family. Her father’s side is the only group she really hangs out with, and she avoids family dinners. While I have incredible respect for my friend, I worry that my reaction was too harsh. I am very sorry for causing her family ties to suffer.
Amid the excitement and joy of a wedding, it’s unfortunate when underlying tensions come to the fore, especially between friends and family. However, it is also a time when true colors are shown and loyalties are tested. In Amber’s case, her wedding became a litmus test for her relationships not only with her future husband but also with her family and close friends.
Amber’s choice to stand by her friend, despite harsh criticism from her own family, shows the strength of character and the depth of her loyalty. This incident may have strained her family relationships, but it also strengthened the bond between the two friends who supported each other through thick and thin.
While it’s painful to see Amber have to distance herself from parts of her family, it’s important to remember that setting boundaries is a healthy part of relationships, especially when those boundaries protect mental and emotional well-being. The consequences of this event are regrettable, but it also serves as a reminder that the most meaningful relationships are those based on mutual respect, understanding, and unconditional support.
When it comes to the question of whether the reaction to the family’s harsh words was too harsh, it is important to consider that defending one’s dignity and emotional health is never an overreaction. In life, and especially in intimate settings like weddings, everyone deserves to feel respected and valued. Amber’s decision to cut ties, while difficult, was about keeping her peace and protecting the relationships that really matter—the ones that bring positivity and growth to her life.